I’ve spent the last few days trying to shoehorn my characters into bed. I’ve cajoled and rewritten the chapter a dozen times but unfortunately they’re not having any of it (quite literally). It’s infuriating and I feel like I’ve been writing my way into a brick wall.
The conversations I’ve been having in my head go something like this:
Me: Why don’t you want to go to bed with Jack? He’s gorgeous and charming and fancies the pants off you. And you could really do with a boost to your ego. So what’s wrong with you?
Imogen (eyebrows shoot up): Wrong with me? Jack might be gorgeous and charming, but he reminds me too much of my lousy ex. (Shudders) No way am I going there again.
Me: You didn’t seem all that fussed a couple of pages ago. In fact I distinctly recall you being extremely tempted to go exactly there again.
Imogen: Yes, well, that was before I found out who he was. Besides reminding me of everything I’ve sworn to avoid, the man’s a complete waste of space and has a terrible reputation. I’d have to be mad to ever contemplate going to bed with him. In fact I’d be perfectly happy if I never laid eyes on him again.
Me (depressed): Oh.
Me: Jack, help me here. You’re supposed to be great with women. Heaven knows you’ve had enough practice. Can’t you switch on the charm and seduce Imogen into bed?
Jack (jaw drops in horror): Why on earth would I want to do something like that?
Me: For a start, you spent a large part of the evening flirting with her. Then you invited her out to dinner.
Jack (glowering): And then she went all weird on me. Sorry, but the woman is shallow and pointless and has some SERIOUS issues.
Me: You know she didn’t really mean to insult you like that, don’t you?
Jack (muttering): Whether she did or not she’s still bonkers. So thanks, but no thanks.
See what I have to put up with? Anyway, today I gave up trying to make them what I want them to do, and am letting them do what they want to do. Not entirely surprisingly, the brick wall has disappeared and things have become a whole lot easier. Harrumph. You’d have thought by now I’d have learnt to avoid this basic mistake, but apparently not...