02 April 2009

Suddenly his jaw just clenched

I have a note in my diary for next Thursday which says 'Finish Book 2'. Right. 'Finish Chapter 2' would be more like it. Why is the second book so difficult???

On the proof front I've counted 153 'just's, 30 'suddenly's and 34 'clench's (in varying forms) so now I need scissors to go with my fine-toothed comb. My editor didn't make many changes to my ms, and all are for the better, but there is one line that was added that had me thinking 'please, no!'.

11 comments:

Jackie Ashenden said...

The 'difficult second' huh? You can do it, Lucy. Can you call on your editor for help? Or is it more that you know where you're going and you just can't get there?

Argh, those buzz words! If there was another way of saying 'suddenly' or 'abruptly' I'd like to know. And don't get me started on the 'just's.
An added line? Was it dialogue? What was so vile about it??

Lucy King said...

Hmm, I think I know where I'm going, I just need to get there! Lots of day job stuff too.

The offending line was 'she caught her breath at his beauty'. Admittedly not all that awful just that 'his beauty' is not something I'd ever write. Might see if I can change it to 'his gorgeousness' ;) Or something...

Jackie Ashenden said...

Aaahhh...um...I don't have a problem with male beauty personally but I'd want it put in a less cheesy way! Why did they put that in? Did they want a male beauty moment huh? Gorgeousness might do it. Or hotness?? Though catching one's breath at his hotness does sound a little odd. ;-) I'll shut up now and get on my back to my garret. Obviously I need more laudanum...

Michelle Styles said...

Lucy --

YOu can stat the line and make the correction. If your editor has a problem with it, she will get back to you and you can discuss it. If it is something that is pulling you out, then it needs to be queried. Ultimately it is your name on the front cover.

Hugs on the second book but it is notorious for being difficult.

Lorraine said...

If it's not something you'd ever write I'd definitely query it. Personally I'm not too keen on 'his beauty' but I suppose it's all a matter of personal taste...

In the second book - did your character interviews help or are they still mucking you about???

Rachael Johns said...

Clench? Well... I actually think that's original. I don't know if I've ever used it - lol!! But I suppose anything in excess is not so good.

Hugs on the Book 2 thing! At least you're making us feel slightly better about not-being-there-yet :)

Joanne Cleary said...

Male beauty might be ok for some men but I don't think it's very alpha. She might catch her breath at his strength or charisma ... but I'm with Jackie, beauty is a bit cheesy.

Hugs on the second book, you can do it!

Lucy King said...

Thanks for the 'beauty' sympathy! Not entirely sure why it's been added but will ask tomorrow.

Lacey Devlin said...

The difficult second will be twice as fabulous for giving you migraines and making you grind your teeth down to stubs :) Good luck with male beauty.

Laura Essendine said...

What is it about the word "just"

Just when I'm getting my writing just right, it just pops into my head. Just a minute, I think, didn't I just use that word?

It's just not fair. Unjust, you might say.

Good luck and keep plugging away at it - you just might get there soon.

Laura Essendine
The Accidental Guru Blog

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